Rain

A boy sits at his desk. Formless except for arms outstreched from the glob of humanity that sits in front of a computer. Rain blows against the window, blurring the outside world…His fingers dangle precipitously over the keyboard…

My fingers hover above the black, lifeless keys, waiting…hoping…not knowing what will come. My hands tremble, the words in my soul fighting to get out. Fighting for life, for air, for freedom, fighting to be forgotten. Smattered on a page. One after another. Words become reality, scrawling across the screen…even the cursor waits, it keeps time with my heart…don’t stop cursor. Please don’t stop. There is still so much to say. Still so much to do. The sound of the clicks and clacks of the keys striking the sensors that tell the machine what letter to type is the only thing that helps me to forget, to remember, to believe…what if I could not write…what if I could not say what festers inside me…I would forget to remember, I would cease to believe. When you write, when you let go, when you see what’s inside, then you are alive. What is down there? Hiding. Creeping around my intestines, playing hide-and-go-seek with my soul? Who are you? What did you say, what did you do? Why are you still there? What is your name? Have you been there for long? Please come up for air. My hands shake with anticipation. When will you be free? Do I hold the key? Rain. It always rained at home. Who is it? Behind the raindrops, silhouetted by the moon, drowning in the puddles…rain brings life. Rain precedes beauty. Come out. Come out and show your face. If I stop writing you will not come. I know it to be true. If I forget you, bigger you will become. Larger. So I will write, for you, for them, they who watch, listen, observe, judge…is he right…is he wrong…honest, crazy, insane…who are you? Who is behind you? You are so wet, so old…you must come out of the rain…it always rained. Even the sun couldn’t keep it away.

…a man without a mouth emerges from the rain…eyes piercing…all-knowing…behind him a boy, listening…expecting…not knowing…looking to the sky — dark clouds — tears of God soaking his body…waiting for the sun.

~ by kevinthomas on January 25, 2006.