My Silence
Sometimes I forget about it. At times it’s like it never happened, I never felt it, it was never real. Silence takes over, memories fall away, dreams die, hopes lie listless on the floor, and then I remember.
The problem with love is that it hurts. Nothing can change that. Drugs can only dull it. Movies suspend it, music delays it. If you leave it, run from it, turn from it, you might regret it, wonder what could have been, what should have been, hurt from what’s not, hurt from what never was but might have been. Hurt from the memories you left.
If you embrace it, accept it, agree to it, shake hands and sign to the right of the X, you fear of what’s to come, what you might have to give, might have to reveal…what you might have to lose in the end.
I don’t understand what can make people love, or have the feeling of love, for another person. What it is inside me, inside you, that can draw you to another heart? That can make you forget everything else? That can make your hands shake, your heart sink, your stomach tighten, at the mere sight of the person, or the sound of their voice? I don’t know.
But sometimes it hurts. Is it worth the pain? Is it worth the joy? Is it worth the laughs, the smiles, the touch, the whispers in crowds of people, the looks?
I hope so. Because when the sky turns red, the clouds a deep purple, and I look into the eyes of the other person, and my heart sinks, and everything else fades away, if it wasn’t worth it God would be playing a terrible trick on me.
kevinthomas
welcome to the club man. the problem that i see is that when people sign right of the X, i think they are, if even in the far back reaches of their mind, telling themselves that “it will be easier now.” Easier to give, to sacrifice, to see what is reall…to love. I’m not eager to let some monumental day of white cloud my view of her, or cloud my future with her. i’m not willing to give now, so that day, for me, changes nothing. Love? i feel like love it a funny story that everyone is cracking up about, and when i ask why it’s so funny, the response is always, “oh, you just had to have been there.” guess so.
keep asking the questions Kev. and when you find the answer, you know how to reach me.
~that fellow thinker