Glass Doors
What did they do in the olden days, you know before they had all the fancy things we have today, like a toaster, a microwave, penicillin, medicine? Did a sore throat kill a person? I wonder if they tried blood letting for a sore throat? I bet they only tried it once if they did:
Patient: yeah doc, my throat kinda hurts, what do you recommend?
Doc: Hmm…well, we could try blood-letting, that seems to work.
Patient: Sounds good.
Doc: Where exactly does it hurt?
The Patient points to the spot on his throat that hurts.
Patient: Right about there.
Doc: Ok, lean your head back, wow, that’s quite an Adams apple, ok…I am going to put the knife here…and….wallah!
The Doc cuts the Patient across the throat. Patient doesn’t look too good.
Doc: Oh shit.
Anyway, I am sick. And I am hoping that I can just tough it out, you know, the whole boot straps thing, they used to be able to do it, and I have done it for the last two years, so lets give it the ol’ college try one more time. Really I just don’t have insurance still. Or else I would already be at the doctor’s office with my pants down, which would be kind of awkward when the doctor walks in and I have my pants down standing in the middle of the room.
Today at work a customer walked into the glass door. It was hilarious. Of course, I didn’t laugh until he was gone, but I wish I could have had a camera. He was looking to the right, thinking there wasn’t a door there, and then BAM! he walked straight into it. He didn’t even look around to acknowledge his folly. I told Sheldon about it, he is a waiter that grew up in South Carolina on a historical slave plantation. He is one of the many interesting people that I work with, he is the first gay black man that I have met from South Carolina. When I asked him today if he ever thought about moving back he said, “When I want to die.”
Man, that last paragraph had nothing to do with the first couple. So much so that I can’t even think of a way to tie them together. So I will let them stand, alone, unfettered, free. I am supposed to write an article for Westmont about my “multicultural experience” at school. I have had tens time more of a multi-cultural experience in the last ten days at Bus Boys and Poets than the whole four years at Westmont. Maybe I will make an analogy about the man who was walking out of my restaurant into the real world and ran into a glass door, and how when we graduate from Westmont a lot of us will be running into many multi-cultural glass doors as we enter the “real world.” Maybe I will also throw in something about how I didn’t get picked to be on the Real World, but during the interview thing at Sharkeez in Santa Barbara the two Westmont Girls who happened to be sitting at my interview table threw out the Virgin Card in the first three words of their introduction, “I’m a virgin.”
I think I am slightly delirious, I have a little fever, my forehead is hot, my cheeks are hot, and for some reason I am wearing a sweatshirt…but let me leave you with this:
kevinthomas
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